Have you ever done something even though it was hard and scary? Did you take a leap for a new job? Broach that difficult conversation? Try something new? Speak your truth? Listen to someone else’s truth? Start a challenging project? Own your part? Follow your joy and purpose? Take care of yourself? Take care of someone else? Get organized? Let go of control?
Firekeeper Coaching is named after the transformative inner force that calls you to do the thing you feel you must do, even when it’s hard and scary.
The fire is the energy in each of us that says, “This is who I am. This is how I want to feel. This is how I want to live. This is how I want to leave my mark on the world. And this is how things need to change for it to happen.” Listening to the fire is a lifelong practice that transforms us from the inside out.
What does the fire sound like?
The fire usually speaks loudest to us through our pain and discomfort (a push). Thankfully, it is often paired with hope for a better way (a pull). The discomfort says to us, I’m sick of feeling and doing things this way. My work. My insecurities. Stress. Feeling small. Feeling disorganized. Feeling directionless. The old habits of relationships. Feeling depleted. Micro-managing. Being lonely. Feeling scared. Being angry. Fearing regret. On the other side is the call of hope. Things could be better. I want to be and do what I love. It is possible. But this requires a leap, and a leap means risk.
Even when a change is positive, it still requires a risk. Any change, any upsetting of the status quo, means leaving something behind to inhabit a new form of self. In psychology, the theory of positive disintegration that holds that for any kind of change, things have to break apart first, and this is a hard but good. What we leave behind are often old ways of relating, doing and thinking about the world and ourselves. Old habits and rules that no longer serve us are replaced with those that do. With this, however, come the risks of growth: What will people think? What if I fail? How will this change my relationships? Will I be criticized? Alone? Embarrassed?
It might seem safer to push back on change, and we often do. There comes a time however, when the fire forces us to take a leap...
The mindset of the fire:
When we make any kind of change, when we break apart, we’re vulnerable. Being in a Fire Mindset requires rooted determination, radical openness and gentle self-compassion. Do not set out on an adventure without all three of these. The determination grounds us in our inner direction and motivation. The openness allows for new ways of being, unexpected possibilities and outcomes we never could have planned or imagined. The self-compassion acknowledges that life is not easy and we must be gentle with ourselves in order to learn as we go. Paradoxically, self-compassion gives us the critical strength to persevere.
What is your fire telling you today?
As we go about our days, the fire is always speaking to us. What do you yearn for? What are you tired of? What do you love? How do you want to feel? When we listen, the fire will light the way.
Cheers to your fire.